The Durian is banned in airlines and all hotels from 2 star upwards.
It's very much an acquired taste, acquired it seems, by 99% of the Malaysian population.
They don't grow or import Durian into Australia (they got it right this time), so this poem came to me one night on a flight to Brisbane.
Well we went down there to Sydney fair and we went to Melbourne too
and the thing we really noticed most was the sky was oh so blue.
And the streets were clean and it's true to say that they do'nt use plastic bags
but Allah forgive them for their sins! They don't sell Durian!
We've heard so much of kangaroos and the cute Koala bear,
and it's really quite a friendly place and we really liked it there.
And we liked the beach of Surfers and the heat of Brisbane town,
but Lord forbid! Of all the things! They don't have Durian!
They speak of sports with reverence and they worship sporting names,
and they play a kind of "football" that's quite a silly game.
And there's tennis in the boiling heat and cricket in the rain
but what it was we really missed, they don't have Durian.
And then of course, there's things that irk, that make you miss your home
that cause a man to search for food that makes you feel at home.
So we looked around for satay sticks but couldn't find a one
but then to make it even worse, they had no Durian!
They think that they're more civilised, they eat with knife and fork
but it's hard to understand the words with the funny way they talk.
They don't say "Ah" and they don't say "Lah" or "this one also can"
But what was worse in the whole darn trip, they don't have Durian!
Well think of it, I mean to say, it's hard to recognise
a country huge, with all that food and not one rambutan!
No mangosteen, we nearly died, a horrible event!
We had to last a whole darn month without a Durian!
We ate with hands. They stared at us. And no banana leaf!
It really wasn't quite the same, it wasn't such a treat.
What's "sos chilli?" the waitress asked. "my God they're backward here"
said Mat who was slowly turning white from lack of Durian.
Now Mat so white, was all concerned at what his Mak would say
if she knew he'd been Down Under there and turned a sickly grey
So we had to leave we had to go, so on the plane we ran
'Coz after all a man can't live without his Durian.
Now Mat and I still friends we are, despite our sad ordeal
but go back there for holiday? No way! You can't be real?
We sit, we talk, we eat with hands, banana leaf and rice,
and gorge ourselves on Durian for seven days and nights.
Copyright. Greg Barlow. 1997
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